Thursday, November 18, 2010

Writings on the wall :D

I love writing, I doodle a lot and I love encouraging myself so I write things for me to remember the feeling of being inspired. It doesn't last long though. Hehe. Anyhoo, I wrote this when I was reviewing for the boards. Haayyy. Boards. Just thinking about it makes me feel tired and ready to give up... but then my life isn't just about me and what I want and what I feel like doing. A major part of it is about people I care for the most. What would they say if I quit when I still have a chance? It's not really their judgement that I'm concern about it's more of what they'd feel. I hate it when they feel sad for me or because of me. Pretending to be tough is pretty tiring but then I'm hopeful that one day I won't pretend anymore. I'll be the toughest there is.

I cropped it this way to remind me that I wanted this.

Whenever I encounter something different and far from anything positive, I lose track. I sometimes become immobile. That's one thing I've learned about me which is really something I couldn't be proud of. So I made a list of all the things that I wanted to achieve and do. One of which is this :D

At this point, I couldn't feel the desire to want this yet (maybe because I failed once and it's the most depressing feeling... Icky I know) but I'm sure that I will when I start working for it. (I will start reviewing again next week :l) I just needed more time to shut myself from the feeling then I'll be back to the old self who had this dream.

You can do it E! :D

Goodbye for now :D xoxo

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